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The New York Times and Washington Post bestseller that changed the way millions communicate

“[Crucial Conversations] draws our attention to those defining moments that literally shape our lives, our relationships, and our world. . . . This book deserves to take its place as one of the key thought leadership contributions of our time.”
―from the Foreword by Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

“The quality of your life comes out of the quality of your dialogues and conversations. Here’s how to instantly uplift your crucial conversations.”
―Mark Victor Hansen, cocreator of the #1 New York Times bestselling series Chicken Soup for the Soul®

The first edition of Crucial Conversations exploded onto the scene and revolutionized the way millions of people communicate when stakes are high. This new edition gives you the tools to:

• Prepare for high-stakes situations
• Transform anger and hurt feelings into powerful dialogue
• Make it safe to talk about almost anything
• Be persuasive, not abrasive

• Sales Rank: #349 in Books
• Brand: Patterson, Kerry/ Grenny, Joseph/ McMillan, Ron/ Switzler, Al
• Published on: 2011-09-09
• Format: Animated
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.00" h x .70" w x 6.00" l, .77 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 272 pages

About the Author

Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler are cofounders of VitalSmarts, an innovator in corporate training and organizational performance.
www.vitalsmarts.com

Most helpful customer reviews

623 of 658 people found the following review helpful.
These techniques really work!
By A Customer
I bought this book after undergoing a first, miserable mediation session with my soon-to-be-exhusband. The stakes are high--it's our property settlement, and my husband had been cashing out the savings and spending them, while leaving me to take care of the 2 mortgages and other obligations. It was easy, but not very productive, to point out where I felt he was wrong.
I started reading Crucial Conversations and using the tools as well as I could, while watching our mediator model them. I stopped participating in the accuse/counter-accuse game, and focused on bringing information to the table, while I used the crucial conversation tools to keep our discussions productive.
The book starts out with a self-assessment to determine your own communications strengths and weaknesses.
My biggest faux-pas with my husband was to cause Respect violations. The CC tools gave me a usable set of actions to take to set things back on track:
* Apologize (I'm sorry if that sounded disrespectful.)
* Contrast (I don't want to make you out to be the bad guy, I'm just concerned that I won't have any funds left to cover the emergencies.)
* CRIB
- Commit to seek mutual purpose (I'll stay in this process as long as it takes for us to reach agreement.)
- Recognize the purpose behind his strategy (It's understandable that you're unhappy with our situation and that you're trying to do something to feel better.)
- Invent a mutual purpose (I want us both to be happy and secure after the divorce.)
- Brainstorm new strategies (Maybe we can just focus on the numbers for now, and put off worrying about how we're going to divide things until later.
Using these tools has kept the dialogue moving forward, and we're very close to agreement, after just two more sessions.
The Crucial Conversations tools won't change another person who's determined to be unreasonable into a perfectly cooperative person, but they will give you a sane way to stay in dialogue and still hold the other person accountable for his or her own irrational attitudes and behavior.
I think this book is a must-have for anyone who has had a hard time dealing with conflict. I'll be reaching for it again, I know.

225 of 247 people found the following review helpful.
For when things get crucial
By Liam Brown
We all face situations in life where things are tense and saying the right things is crucial. This is what the authors call a "crucial conversation." As opposed to a casual discussion, crucial conversations happen between two or more people when opinions vary, stakes are high, and emotions run strong. Whether you are approaching a boss who is breaking his or her own policies, critiquing a colleague's work, or talking to a team member who isn't keeping commitments, keeping the conversation productive can be very difficult.

The main technique the authors teach is the talent of dialogue. This is the free flow of meaning between two or more people. People who use this technique are able to find a way to get all relevant information from themselves and others out in the open and make it safe for everyone to add their meaning to the shared pool. These people try hard to ensure that all ideas find their way into the forum; and as this "pool of shared meaning" grows, it helps people by exposing them to more accurate and relevant information so they can make better decisions.

In this, the 2nd edition, the book ads access to new material including a video vault that illustrates each of the authors' techniques being acted out, new case studies, and new tools to help you maneuver effectively through crucial conversations. This wise and witty guide gives you the tools you need to step up to life's most difficult and important conversations, say what's on your mind, and achieve positive outcomes. You'll learn how to:

* Prepare for high-impact situations with a six-minute mastery technique
* Make it safe to talk about almost anything
* Be persuasive, not abrasive
* Keep listening when others blow up or clam up
* Turn crucial conversations into the action and results you want

All in all a great book for developing advanced people skills. Another must read in this genre is Emotional Intelligence 2.0.

210 of 233 people found the following review helpful.
Insightful, practical, engaging--an exceptional book!
By A Customer
When I obtained a copy of Crucial Conversations, I had very high expectations of this book having read the authors' outstanding earlier work, The Balancing Act. I must say I wasn't disappointed; in fact, I was delighted! Crucial Conversations is an extremely insightful and very practical book. Indeed, it is a very rare combination to find a book that contains profound ideas as well as provides actionable tools and Crucial Conversations delivers both.
The book addresses a topic that is largely misunderstood and vastly underestimated: high stakes dialogue. The authors define crucial conversations as those where 1) stakes are high, 2) opinions vary, and 3) emotions run strong, or in other words, much of both our professional and personal lives. We're all involved in crucial conversations at home and at work but most of us are not very aware of the interpersonal dynamics at play and/or we're unskilled in how to respond differently. The book helps the reader first understand the principles involved in "crucial conversations" but then also helps the reader develop real skills and abilities to choose or change their communication patterns. The end result is remarkable. The book's impact is a much bigger idea than simple communication--it's all about effective human interaction and getting results with and through people.
The book is highly readable, extremely engaging and actually quite fun. It is filled with illustrations and stories from all walks of life: business examples, personal examples and family examples. The fact that the principles and skills the authors teach can be applied in all dimensions of life--work, home, personal--is very appealing to me and made the book extremely helpful on many fronts.
I benefitted most from this book from a business standpoint and have found that applying these skills has made a real difference at work. I'm more courageous and more considerate at the same time. I understand people better but I especially understand myself better. I'm far more conscious and aware of my dialogue with others and I've greatly improved my skills and abilities to lead effectively. The bottom line is, I'm helping my company get better results and I'm far more effective personally. If more people in business were to apply these principles and skills in the frequent crucial conversations they have at work, they would make better decisions, achieve better results and do it all in a way that would build the trust and strengthen relationships. I couldn't give a book higher marks. Outstanding!

See all 1135 customer reviews...

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The Guy's Guide will encourage your faith, challenge you spiritually, and give you real-life advice how to live out your faith in today s highly secularized culture, with distractions lurking around every corner. . .and just a click away.

• Sales Rank: #16383 in Books
• Brand: Barbour Publishing Company
• Published on: 2014-04-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 8.00" h x .52" w x 5.19" l, .55 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 224 pages

Review
As the father of 11 grown sons (yes, 11 boys among 19 total children), I would have loved a resource like this when my sons were teenagers. Teen guys today will love Jonathan McKee's humor and insight, and his perfect balance of caution and encouragement. It's a clear map to the good life!
 
Pat Williams
Senior Vice President, Orlando Magic
Author, THE LEADERSHIP EXCELLENCE DEVOTIONAL


“Wow!  Jonathan McKee hammered this one out of the park!  The Guy’s Guide to God, Girls, and the Phone in Your Pocket, speaks in a language that boys and young men can relate to and understand.  This easy-to-digest little book teaches young males the wisdom they need in order to be successful in life. It covers virtually every topic (even the tough ones) that males struggle with today and provides powerful solutions for them without preaching at them.  If I still had a boy at home, I’d be running to get this book!”
 
-Rick Johnson, bestselling author of That’s My Son, Better Dads Stronger Sons, and A Man in the Making


"Jonathan McKee's THE GUY'S GUIDE TO GOD, GIRLS, AND THE PHONE IN YOUR POCKET is refreshingly brutal. As a mom, sometimes it's hard to know what's going through your teen son's head when it comes to anything. That's where Jonathan comes in. With a casual and warm tone, he advises boys on how to live--from the more superficial (yet important) how to smell and sleep to the heavier advice on how not to get entangled in porn, how to worship, and how to take ownership of everyday tasks. The lessons are brief and accessible. This book is a must-have for modern boys."

-Nancy French, New York Times Best-Selling Author 


“Face it: You’ve outgrown diaries for ‘wimpy kids’ and so-called dangerous books for boys. Now it’s time for some brutal honesty; some meaty, man-sized chunks of wisdom every guy must hear: secrets about God, girls, grooming, friends, faith. . .and what it means to be ‘a man after God’s own heart.’ This book delivers! Buy a copy for yourself and another for a friend, and take to heart the good stuff packed in these pages.”

—Michael Ross, bestselling author of Worry-Free Living and a former youth editor at Focus on the Family


This book is amazing! It’s a series of short Q&A essays to not only help teens learn how to conquer their choices God’s way but also what to look for so they don’t start heading down the wrong path.
My favorite part? As a girl reading it hit me that they weren’t pulled together in a specific format but then it hit me that the book reminded me of a conversation with my teen sons. Short. To the Point. No Fluff. Just Facts. Perfect for a teen’s brain! (Regina Hott Hott Books 2014-03-05)

I read this book because I have a pre-teen son who is already having questions and concerns about not only becoming a man, but becoming a Godly man. This book was extremely helpful with all his questions and topics I didn't even know we SHOULD be discussing with him! It will definitely be a book that we will be referencing over and over again throughout his teenage years and also when his younger brother becomes a teenager. I will definitely be sharing this book with the youth pastors at my church! (Jennifer Cabrera GoodReads 2014-07-08)

From the Back Cover

Getting Real with Guys. . .

The Guy's Guide will encourage your faith, challenge you spiritually, and give you real-life advice how to live out your faith in today’s highly secularized culture, with distractions lurking around every corner. . .and just a click away.

101 real-life tips including. . .

 ·         Today’s nerd is tomorrow’s boss.

·         If you have to look over your shoulder to check if anyone’s in the room, you probably shouldn’t be typing it into the search engine.

·         Learn a skill that would help you survive a zombie apocalypse.

·         Losing your temper feels really good. . .for about 17 seconds. Keeping your cool feels even better. . .for the rest of the week.

·         Realize most bad choices usually began five choices ago.

·         If you have a TV in your bedroom, unplug it right now and move it to another room.

. . .and dozens more helpful hints provide spiritual, practical, and even humorous advice for navigating the challenges of your teen years with confidence and wisdom.

 “Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity,

God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Romans 12:1–2 msg

JONATHAN MCKEE is the author of over a dozen books including Get Your Teenagers Talking, Should I Just Smash My Kid's Phone, and The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide for Teenagers. He speaks to parents and leaders worldwide while writing about parenting and youth culture and providing free resources for families on TheSource4Parents.com. Jonathan, his wife Lori, and his three kids live in California.
JonathanMcKeeWrites.com. Twitter.com/InJonathansHead.
 

About the Author
JONATHAN MCKEE is the author of over a dozen books including Get Your Teenagers Talking, Should I Just Smash My Kid's Phone, and The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide for Teenagers. He speaks to parents and leaders worldwide while writing about parenting and youth culture and providing free resources for families on TheSource4Parents.com. Jonathan, his wife Lori, and his three kids live in California. JonathanMcKeeWrites.com. Twitter.com/InJonathansHead.

Most helpful customer reviews

44 of 45 people found the following review helpful.
A modern day book of Proverbs
By Benyamen
Like many youth ministry books I've read, the title may show the book is intended for teen guys, but the content contains a depth of thought that it easily speaks into the lives of adults as well. The Guy's Guide to God, Girls, and the Phone in Your Pocket is full of bite size bits of wisdom that had me nodding my head in agreement constantly with things that I believe need to be said, and with things that convicted my soul. It will be a book I keep with me for my personal use, for ministry use as a pastor, and certainly for use as my own three sons grow up.
The book is written in easy to understand terms that can translate across many age groups, but filled with pop culture references that will certainly resonate with the audience of teen boys it is intended for. Jonathan speaks a number of hard truths that leave no room for misunderstanding the message he's trying to get across. Where some books will speak of learning "respect" or "dealing with sexual sin" he goes the step further to explain what respect or lust really are and what they look like in life. It is more than just a list of do's and do not's though, and steps into the midst of seeking to have hearts and life patterns that strive to be Christ-like. I'm glad I heard about this book online as I'm sure it will prove as valuable in my ministry as it is proving in my own life.

29 of 30 people found the following review helpful.
Required Reading (At least it should be!)
By Rick Nier
Well, I'd like to tell Jonathan McKee that he wrote this book about 20-25 years too late. But since we're about the same age, I suppose I can't hold that against him. But Guy's Guide to God, Girls, and The Phone In Your Pocket is a bold package of advice I could have used more of when I was a teenage guy.

I have read a lot of Jonathan' writing, from previous books to faithfully following his blog. If you're in youth ministry, or a parent of a teen, you should too. The subtitle to this gem is 101 Real-World Tips for Teenage Guys. He could have just as easily called it Tellin' It Like It Is!

McKee doesn't mince words when handing out this advice, nor should he. If men want to be treated like men, then they should stand up and hear the truth like men. Jonathan has written a book aimed at teenage guys and thought it through in doing so. Each chapter is short and has good questions to ask of yourself, or use in a small group setting. I don't think my 10-year old son is too young to begin considering these things in our father-son outings.

Each chapter includes a biblical reference for deeper thought. Because good advice should have a foundation, and I believe it does. This book is filled with practicals on how to treat (and attract) women, as well as advice on surviving a zombie apocalypse. Laugh now, but every boy scout knows it's better to be prepared.

Jonathan also offers deeper advice, such as the wisdom in planning ahead, making courageous decisions that require honesty and how to approach building your character. Good quality stuff from start to finish.

24 of 24 people found the following review helpful.
Guy's really need to read this
By sadrac
This is a great book to give to any teenage guy. My wife and I are the youth pastor's and as I read the tips(advice) given I found myself saying "that would make a good lesson." I wish I would have read this when I was a teenager. There are tips from encouraging teenage boys to learn to cook to examining your spiritual walk with the Lord. Some tips have a scripture and some do not. Some tips will ask you questions that will cause you to examine your life in the physical and the spiritual. As I read thru the tips I found myself laughing at times and also saying "oohhh that is good." For example: Are you a lava lamp or a spotlight is tip #11. One of the things I am considering doing is getting the boys together on a Sunday morning since that is when we have class and go over several tips or another option would be for the teenage boys to use the tips as part of their daily devotional. Since each tip might take between 2-5 minutes read. I recommend this book.

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For over five decades, Ruskin Bond has written charming tales that have mesmerized readers of all ages. This collection brings together his finest stories for children in one volume. Published previously as A Treasury of Stories for Children, this attractive rejacketed edition includes two new stories The Big Race and Remember This Day .

Filled with superb illustrations and a rich cast of characters, The Room of Many Colours: A Treasury of Stories for Children is the definitive book for all Ruskin Bond fans truly a collector s item.

• Sales Rank: #4552019 in Books
• Published on: 2014-09-01
• Original language: English
• Dimensions: 7.76" h x 1.02" w x 5.28" l, .66 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 408 pages

Review
These tales [have] unusual insight and universality. --The Hindu

About the Author
Born in Kasauli in 1934, Ruskin Bond grew up in Jamnagar, Dehradun, New Delhi and Shimla. His first novel, The Room on the Roof, written when he was seventeen, received the John Llewellyn Rhys Memorial Prize in 1957. Since then he has written over five hundred short stories, essays and novellas (some included in the collections Dust on the Mountains and Classic Ruskin Bond) and more than forty books for children.

He received the Sahitya Akademi Award for English writing in India in 1993, the Padma Shri in 1999, and the Delhi government s Lifetime Achievement Award in 2012. He was awarded the Sahitya Akademi s Bal Sahitya Puraskar for his total contribution to children s literature in 2013 and was honoured with the Padma Bhushan in 2014. He lives in Landour, Mussoorie, with his extended family.

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There are far more entrepreneurs than most people realize. But the failure rate of new businesses is disappointingly high, and the economic impact of most of them disappointingly low, suggesting that enthusiastic would-be entrepreneurs and their investors all too often operate under a false set of assumptions.

 

This book shows that the reality of entrepreneurship is decidedly different from the myths that have come to surround it. Scott Shane, a leading expert in entrepreneurial activity in the United States and other countries, draws on the data from extensive research to provide accurate, useful information about who becomes an entrepreneur and why, how businesses are started, which factors lead to success, and which predict a likely failure.

 

The Illusions of Entrepreneurship is an essential resource for everyone who has dreamed of starting a new business, for investors in start-ups, for policy makers attempting to facilitate the formation and survival of new businesses, and for researchers interested in the economic impact of entrepreneurial activity. Scott Shane offers research-based answers to these questions and many others:

·        Why do people start businesses?

·        What industries are popular for start-ups?

·        How many jobs do new businesses create?

·        How do entrepreneurs finance their start-ups?

·        What makes some locations and some countries more entrepreneurial than others?

·        What are the characteristics of the typical entrepreneur?

·        How well does the typical start-up perform?

·        What strategies contribute to the survival and profitability of new businesses over time?

 

• Sales Rank: #794442 in Books
• Published on: 2010-01-26
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.22" h x .58" w x 6.34" l, .57 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 224 pages

Review
0;In this fact-filled, but fun-to-read book, Scott Shane demolishes many myths about entrepreneurship and in the process provides much-needed guidance to entrepreneurs, investors, and policymakers.1;2;Steve Crawford, Director, Social, Economic, and Workforce Programs Division, National Governor7;s Association
-- Steve Crawford

0;This fascinating book, by one of the most competent investigators of the subject, tells us how much we think we know about entrepreneurship that is just not true. It has already led me to change several of my lectures (with thanks to the author). This book is a must read for anyone who takes a serious interest in the subject of entrepreneurship.1;2;William J. Baumol, Academic Director, Center for Entrepreneurial Studies, Stern School of Business, New York University
-- William J. Baumol

"This makes an excellent reality-check for anyone considering beginning their own business."-Publishers Weekly

"For its myth-busting findings and analytical rigor, Mr. Shane''s book is a welcome addition to the literature on a crucial part of any modern economy." -- Nick Schulz "Wall Street Journal" (01/30/2008)

"The lessons in this book will perhaps save its readers a bundle of money that would otherwise be wasted on an ill-conceived business idea."-Morgan Lewis Jr., Inside Business -- Morgan Lewis Jr., "Inside Business"

"The belief that the U.S. is a relative haven for small businesses is one of the many bubbles burst by Scott Shane. . . . While he''s busting myths, Shane also unveils weaknesses in common entrepreneur practices." -- Mark Henricks "The Industry Standard" (02/08/2008)

"In this fact-filled, but fun-to-read book, Scott Shane demolishes many myths about entrepreneurship and in the process provides much-needed guidance to entrepreneurs, investors, and policymakers."-Steve Crawford, Director, Social, Economic, and Workforce Programs Division, National Governor's Association

"Scott has clearly and entertainingly shown why policy makers, entrepreneurs and investors should focus more attention on high growth, high potential start-ups and less on the ''me-too'' new companies than is currently the case."-David T. Morgenthaler, founder, Morgenthaler Ventures -- David T. Morgenthaler

"This fascinating book, by one of the most competent investigators of the subject, tells us how much we think we know about entrepreneurship that is just not true. It has already led me to change several of my lectures (with thanks to the author). This book is a must read for anyone who takes a serious interest in the subject of entrepreneurship."-William J. Baumol, Academic Director, Center for Entrepreneurial Studies, Stern School of Business, New York University -- William J. Baumol

"Business scholar Scott Shane debunks popular theories with research-based answers to questions such as why people start businesses, which industries are most popular for startups and what are the most common characteristics of the typical entrepreneur."--Mark Henricks, "Entrepreneur Magazine"
--Mark Henricks "Entrepreneur Magazine "

"[This] book is important not just for clearing our minds of what''s erroneous but for reconsidering our public policy, which is based on the widespread feeling that startups are a magic bullet that will create a lot of jobs and generate innovation."--Harvey Schachter, "Toronto Globe and Mail"
--Harvey Schachter "Toronto Globe and Mail "

"For its myth-busting findings and analytical--Nick Schulz"Wall Street Journal" (01/30/2008)

About the Author

Scott A. Shane is A. Malachi Mixon III Professor of Entrepreneurial Studies, Weatherhead School of Management, Case Western Reserve University. He is the author or editor of eleven books and more than sixty scholarly articles on entrepreneurship and innovation management. He lives in Shaker Heights, OH.

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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Outstanding!
By Nicolas
This is an OUTSTANDING book. It is very readable, packed with great info and data, and flows very well. It is also very well structured and would appeal to a wide range of audience from entrepreneurs to policy makers, and from investors in start-ups to students of entrepreneurship. It is without doubt one of the best entrepreneurship books I have read.

Nowadays, there are thousands of books about entrepreneurship. Most of them build a false picture of the phenomenon. If you REALLY want to know about entrepreneurship this is the book you should buy. The book challenges the common myths about entrepreneurship and, drawing from rigorous research and data sources, describes entrepreneurship as it really occurs.

For example, the book shows the typical start-up isn't innovative, has no plans to grow, has one employee, and generates less than $100,000 dollars in revenue. It covers a wide range of fascinating topics like: What are today's entrepreneurial industries? How are new businesses financed? What makes some entrepreneurs more successful than others? How well does the typical entrepreneur do? How valuable is the average start-up?

The author of book is widely regarded within the academic community as the top entrepreneurship scholar in the world. I would strongly recommend his book to anyone who is serious about entrepreneurship.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Interesting read if you're considering entrepreneurship
By Javi
I found this book to be an interesting read for people considering becoming entrepreneurs. It is filled with data points that are not very well know. I would take some of conclusions with a grain of salt, as some of the data backing it is not all that solid. However, the author does mention when the data is not extensive.

It's not a guide to entrepreneurship and if you aren't sold on starting your own business, then it will probably seem rather gloomy. However, it's a good eye opener if you have a decent job and have considered starting a company just to not have to work for somebody else. Would defeinitely recommend it if you are thinking about starting your own business but are on the fence.

The conclusion set forth in the end seemed a bit rushed (it's all mentioned in the last 2 pages) but I think the previous chapters are worth it.

It also has a lot of references (almost half the book pages are filled with references), so depending on what kind of reader you are, that might be (or not) a good thing.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Already feels outdated as of March 2013
By Cai
feels old. old data, old ideas. It needs to be refreshed to move itself out of the time when the internet did not make entrepreneurship a totally different game. also it spends a disproportionate amount of time dealing with why women, african-americans and other groups don't do well as entrepreneurs, which is only of interest to you if you like depressing cold truths.

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• Sales Rank: #2788122 in Books
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     Along with the book, the system contains audio and video sessions to provide complete support for physical and psychological change while you lose weight. There’s no physical surgery, no scarring, and no forbidden foods. Just follow all the instructions and let Paul help you lose weight.

“An amazing new approach that promises weight loss for good!”

— Dr. Ronald Ruden, M.D., Ph.D.

“Dr McKenna’s system offers people a safer, non-invasive method of significant weight loss.”

— Professor Michael Carmi, M.D., Ch.B. 

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[B161.Ebook] PDF Download Hypnotic Gastric Band: The New Surgery-Free Weight-Loss System, by Paul McKenna Ph.D. Doc